Posted by:
Bob Marcinuk
As another bunny holiday bites the
dust and chocolate foiled rabbits are tucked away in drawers to feebly attempt
to avoid a terminal sugar rush, there remains only the eggs. Those colored eggs that look so perfect on
the panels of food dye boxes reside as neurotic tie-dyed wonders in the
refrigerator because the fun is in the creating, not in the eating. Moms frantically google search for those easy
to prepare but absolutely delicious hardboiled egg recipes that have somehow eluded
them in years past. Don’t bother. They just don’t exist.
If this sounds familiar…it
should. If you are honest with yourself,
you’ll admit that it happened to you at one time or another. It kind of makes you reflect a bit…wondering
if it has always been this way. When I
paused just before Easter this year, my thoughts took me to a place in
childhoods past. Simpler times? Maybe.
More traumatizing, definitely!
Coming from a Russian lineage,
holidays were always filled with traditional stories. Knowing the characters in my family and their
propensity to intermingle honored historic values with old wives tales (called
something that sounds like “bikkies”), I am not at all certain that this tale
is 100% accurate. But hey, somehow it managed to survive the centuries in my
family…tattered and frayed a bit for sure.
After a frantic last week at NAN,
our team of Jamila, Ellen and Margie were ripe for this story that I have held
in reserve for some time now…and yes, props helped to hold their
attention.
The prop? Eggs boiled in a traditional ornate Russian cauldron
with 2 lbs of onion skins! The result….a
deep, rich rust color that challenged that of bricks in intensity.
Each participant was asked to prepare for the
Russian Egg War by carefully selecting an egg that would hopefully endure the
rigors of battle. With an egg firmly
held by each, I watched them morph from grown women into mesmerized little
girls in anticipation of the tale....
Onion skin dyed eggs were used…and
each czar, carefully selected his weapon with the help of their generals. The selection process took over two hours and
there was much taunting and jeering emanating from the troops. The battle was about to begin…
It was Czar Bautrus who officially
challenged Czar Nikta to the battle giving him the honor of being “the
striker”. As he lifted his egg a mere 2
inches from that of his opponent, he unceremoniously and swiftly struck. Czar
Nikta’s egg was broken…..
As the news spread quickly across
the armies, the cheers were equally balanced out by the groans. But, what silenced them all was when Czar
Nikta in a very low tone said to Czar Bautrus...“But my egg has two sides….” And in flipping his egg over said “It is I,
Czar Nikta, who now challenges you to war”.
Bautrus snickered boastfully and extended his egg for battle.
The blow came quickly….And now, both
czars each had a broken egg!
As the tale has it, Czar Nikta stood
and held his egg over his head to the sky as in thanks to a higher being. And, it is said that a ray of sun broke
through the heavily overcast day and lite on the extended egg! With that, and feeling fully empowered, Czar
Nikta again challenged Czar Bautrus to a war….and gently tapped his opponent’s
egg….
The roar of exaltation that arose
from both armies was deafening as Czar Bautrus mounted his horse and slowly
road into the barren Siberian wasteland in defeat along with two of his closest
generals. Their frozen bodies were
discovered 73 years later and the story has it that Czar Bautrus was found with
a shattered egg clutched in his right hand.
As for Czar Nikta, history tells us
that he went on to be a kind, magnanimous and just ruler who ruled both
kingdoms as if they had always been one.
And, ah, I would be remise if I did not point out that Nikta in fact did
rightfully earn the title of being the “original good egg”!
So, in fitting honor of this age old Russian bikkie, we recreated the war of the eggs here at NAN on Good Friday afternoon. And, I think that it was only fitting that the sole Russian member of our team, won the war!
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